Tuesday, May 29, 2012

Children are a blessing...

Mr. C and I like kids.  We are excited to have kids of our own one day.  And many of our friends and family members have kids.  We like those kids a lot.  However, we have decided not to invite children to our wedding.  

We've communicated this decision via our website and via word of mouth, and we did the whole "__ of 2 attending" thing on the response cards.  (We hear sometimes this still doesn't work but we're hoping for the best!)  We've suggested child care options in Austin and we have talked with friends about their plans to bring in-laws along to watch the kids on the wedding day, or to leave the kids back at home with a grandma/aunt/etc.

It hasn't been as controversial as I originally thought, but it's been a bit of a challenge.  I think mostly we're both concerned about not hurting people's feelings.  We're certainly not trying to say we don't like kids, and particularly not your kids, we're just trying to make this an event that is reflective of us and the type of celebration we want to have.  We really think it would be fun for all the adults to get a night (or weekend) off to enjoy themselves!  Plus, we have so many friends and family with many kids, it would have added a huge number to our guest list.

One of my girlfriends sent me a note saying she may not be able to join us because she's not sure they can get the whole child care thing figured out, and she wants to respect our "no kids" wishes.  She said she might try to come by herself and leave her son at home with her husband.  She also said she hopes I don't hate her!  I replied that of course I don't hate her; the whole idea is really just to make it a fun night for all the adults, and if it's not possible for her to be there, then there will be lots of photos and recaps I can share with her afterward.

Another couple is expecting a baby soon and made a comment recently about how the trip to Austin might be their baby's first travel adventure.  We were with some other friends at the time so we didn't say anything, but from the full context of the conversation, it sounds like maybe they haven't realized that we're not inviting kids.  Not sure how we're going to handle that one just yet, but an awkward conversation is on the horizon, I guess.

I'm not going to stress about it - we'll be happy to see everyone who makes it to the event, and we can't control what people decide to do.  I do hope the guests who do make arrangements to have someone watch their kids for the night won't be disgruntled if someone totally misses the memo, though!

If you decided not to have kids at your wedding, how did you share the news?  Did you have any parents show up with their kiddos anyway?

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